Ruth & Naomi; The women who could, and, did!

Purity is a manmade concept designed to tame women. Do not accept it. Follow the example of Naomi and Ruth, and take control, with grace.

The story of Ruth and Naomi has often been sold (preached) as a story of redemption. Ruth is said to be a symbol of abiding loyalty and devotion. I see Ruth as a brilliant woman who not only survived but eventually thrived. 

Naomi, a widow, is Ruth’s mother-in-law. Orpah and Ruth married Naomi’s sons, Kilion and Mahlon. Unfortunately, Naomi’s sons died.

Naomi, her husband Elimelech and her two sons had left their home in Bethlehem because of famine. Naomi decided to go back to her home since her husband and children had died and also because she heard that the famine was over.

She gathered her things and started her journey to her home with her daughters-in-law. Somewhere along the way, it hit Naomi that Orpah and Ruth were still young and should remarry. She was too old to have any other sons for them to marry (they practised wife inheritance) and even if by some strange miracle she got a son, it was impractical for them to wait for him to grow up to wife them. She decided to send them back to their people. They both refused to leave her at first but Orpah agreed to return. She probably had a family she was sure would take her back. Ruth on the other hand refused to leave Naomi. 

“Where you go, I will go; where you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die, I will die—there will I be buried.”

I do not know many women who prefer their mother-in-law to their mother. This may be the reason this story is as popular as it is. I think Ruth had nowhere to go. Maybe her people would not be as welcoming. First, she had married a foreigner. Probably abandoned her religion. “Look,” said Naomi, “your sister-in-law is going back to her people and her gods. Go back with her.” 

Secondly, her father-in-law, her brother-in-law and her husband had died. In many communities, the stain of widowhood is almost as bad as barrenness. Now imagine this woman trying to go home after all these deaths. Of men. Very few would think it a coincidence. She would have been labelled a witch.

Thirdly, maybe there was nothing for her to go back to. She still desired to be married and she saw no hope in her home town. One thing we must accept about Ruth is that she was realistic.

Naomi gave in and she and Ruth made their way to Bethlehem. They get there, and Ruth decided to hustle. They were two women living together with no source of income. They also did not qualify for any jobs. Naomi was old and Ruth was a foreigner with no connections. She did not see being a woman as a disadvantage, she used it to her advantage.

And Ruth the Moabite said to Naomi, “Let me go to the fields and pick up the leftover grain behind anyone in whose eyes I find favour.”

She does find favour, with the owner of the land. Now, this Ruth has tact. She works harder so the harvesters take notice and stays in the field long after they leave so she is easy to spot. Talk about positioning oneself. The owner, Boaz asked about her and then commanded the men to cause her no harm. He commended her for the kindness she had shown her mother-in-law and told her of the good things he had organized for her. Ruth knew the power of flattery and gratitude.

“May I continue to find favour in your eyes, my lord,” she said. “You have put me at ease by speaking kindly to your servant—though I do not have the standing of one of your servants.”

She fell on her face and her performance was rewarded. Boaz offered her food from his table. Remember a man that likes you will feed you. 

When Ruth got home with the benefits she reaped from Boaz's land, her mother-in-law asked her, “Where did you glean today? Where did you work? Blessed be the man who took notice of you!”

Once she found out who the owner of the land was, she realized that Boaz was a relative of her dead husband and would be able to inherit Ruth thereby giving her stability. Naomi came up with a very calculated plan. And the best part about it is that she made it look like Boaz's idea. She must have read the Art of Seduction!

Anyway, Naomi asked her daughter-in-law to put on her best clothes and spray some perfume. She would attend what I would call the harvest party. Her instructions were to stay out of sight until after the party when Boaz had eaten and (was) drunk. When he went to bed, she was to uncover his feet and lay down with him.

There has been a lot of debate about the Hebrew euphemism ‘to uncover feet”. It is a sexual expression. In my view, the scholars, who are mostly men were and still are so fixated on purity and not on actual human experiences. Women are human beings. They do sexual things. When will we get used to it? This penchant for purity, particularly in women, has denied many women sexual satisfaction and freedom of expression.

Ruth did exactly what she was told to do. I admire that she followed Naomi’s instructions to the letter without questioning anything. A testament to the trust they had in each other.

Boaz woke up to find someone at his feet yawa. He demanded to know who was in his room with him. Ruth identified herself and then made her request known. “Spread the corner of your garment over me, since you are a guardian-redeemer[b] of our family.” I will have to use that line on a man one day; ‘Spread your garment over me!’

Boaz was impressed that a young beautiful woman had left all the rich younger men and had chosen him. A Mubaba. They spent the night together and early the next morning he promised to marry her if his relative who was a closer relation to her father-in-law did not want to inherit her. He gave her six measures of barley because he did not want her to return to her mother-in-law empty-handed.

If Ruth did this in our time, she would have been called a golddigger or socialite. She would have been slut shamed. I mean, you can see how hard they have tried over the years to ‘sanctify’ this seduction (by Ruth) as if it is a dirty thing. She would be trending on Twitter.

Upon her return, Ruth told her mother-in-law all that happened to which Naomi responded, “Wait, my daughter, until you find out what happens. For the man will not rest until the matter is settled today.”

Boaz met his relative at the gate and called witnesses. They had a discussion and his relative did not want to inherit Ruth because his wife would have caused him considerable problems. “Then I cannot redeem it because I might endanger my own estate. You redeem it yourself. I cannot do it.” So they exchanged sandals to seal the deal and Boaz announced that he would inherit Ruth and make her his wife. He did so immediately and Ruth conceived and birthed a son soon after. If you ask me, she got pregnant on the first night when she uncovered his genitals, I mean feet.

What do I love about these two women? Naomi knew how their world worked and told it like it was. She guided Ruth without malice. Their story disparages the age-old saying that women are their own worst enemies.

Ruth had great people skills. Her theatrics may seem too much, but she knew what the people chosen by God needed to hear. Remember that Ruth was a foreigner but found favour with them. This cannot be coincidental. She was intentional.

She took Naomi's counsel to the letter. They say obedience is better than sacrifice.

Naomi and Ruth’s story is one of empowerment. Two women took control of their situation. They were their own (s)heroes. At no point did these women pray and fast and then leave everything to chance. They took ACTION. 

I have encountered many single women with no children who have left their fate to chance. They wait for God to bring a man because they want to have a family more than anything. Which is noble, but no one will fall on your head. The wait frustrates them and eventually, they end up picking anything that walks upright. A useful match requires sober action from all parties. From this story, I hope all women learn that you cannot sit like a mango in a market waiting to be picked. I hope older women will learn to tell the younger ones how things work. It is not enough to urge women to pray, do good, and wait for ‘all things to be added unto them’. Life does not work that way.

Accept your sexuality and the role it plays. Purity is a manmade concept designed to tame women. Do not accept it. Follow the example of Naomi and Ruth, and take control, with grace.