Her Only Blunder Was Not Knowing When To Stop Talking.

Perhaps we should devote all of our energy to fighting one of the new ways to die in Kenya, GMOs, rather than those who have already found ways to live.

A social media personality has been trending as a result of some confessions. I am not sure why she felt the need to vent in public or at all. Perhaps she's about to release a new song? It makes no difference; this is a teachable moment.

All those of good morals had judgment to render and shame to heap. I am not sure why, because she did nothing new or dare I say, wrong. The intensity of what she did may vary but it is practiced in society. Even by your parents and cherished biblical characters.

The lady confessed to having relationships with men because she wanted a good life. (whatever a good life is). She explained that she had grown up in poverty and when she got the chance, she dated a few men, each with roles; rent, shopping, clothes, etc to live the life she had only dreamt of as a child.

What is new here I ask? I know you want to pretend it is alien, but if you have not yet taken a man home, one whom your family may call poor, and see their reaction, you may be thinking only women out here are ‘materialistic’. It sounds romantic to struggle together but your parents know real life.

The adult version is this, women are socialized right from their homes (that involve female and male relatives) to marry better, to associate better. Better can be social or educational. Hypergamy. I know this word has a dirty connotation for many who refuse to understand the way society works. Just study your family history. Those who married the poor in their villages were almost always ostracized. It was a matter of pride for a family when their daughter married from a ‘good’ family. In English, a family that was rich or richer than theirs.

The truth is you are not affluent enough for the morals you preach to be inapplicable to you. And if you are a woman, you do not know how to approach men or women who can change your life. That is it. You are not better, in most cases you are envious.

Morality only applies to the poorer class. Everyone else is beyond reproach because of their wealth. They can buy forgiveness and redemption. Why else do you see them build places of worship or donate large chunks of their wealth to you, the ‘judges’?

In Bethlehem, Ruth sustained herself and her mother-in-law by gleaning kernels from the barley harvest. One day, she met the owner of a field named Boaz, who received her kindly. Naomi urged Ruth to return to Boaz at night and “uncover his feet”— (Ruth 3:11).

The Hebrew euphemism “uncover his feet” is a sexual expression, an invitation to have relations with her. In response, Boaz promised to take care of her, a symbolic acceptance of marriage

She quickly wins the favor of the chief eunuch, Hegai, and, when her turn comes to spend the night with the king, Ahasuerus falls in love with her and makes her his queen. All this takes place while Esther keeps her Jewish identity secret (Esth 2:10, 20) And when a girl forgets to mention that her sister and brother are her children (surprise!) you want to end the whole marriage. (This is in jest, do not get your undies in a bunch).

Boaz and King Ahasuerus were men of means. Everyone conveniently forgot that small part in the commandments that says though shall not commit adultery. They were able to buy their way to the Messiah’s lineage. Both women were pimped by relatives and they used sex to trap or get their men. Just imagine if Ruth and Queen Esther were on Twitter and decided to ‘confess’. Now that was the only rule this particular media personality broke. Once you have crossed over; your people are saved and you have secured a good life for yourself and your mother-in-law, you shut up and keep living. If you want forgiveness or want to inspire others, build a church wing or buy a sewing machine for a tailoring school. Talking about it offends the less fortunate.

To the judges, remember, that you have the time to judge, do background checks and dig up old pictures, please know that contrary to what you may feel, your horse is not high. That is the only horse they will give you to make you feel good about your place in society while they (the wealthy) break most of the commandments. Have you noticed how silent they are? How come they are not moved by the past of these women who are giving the rest of you sleepless nights? Do you think they have no idea?

Someone once told me that if a person can put millions of shillings together, please appreciate that a fool is not a way to describe him. He obviously knows who you are and has the resources to confirm. He is with you because there is something he likes, wants, or needs, and not because you are so clever that you have trapped him with your magical vagina.

I am not suggesting that we should not have guiding principles or rules, I am saying that shaming a woman (women) is counterintuitive. Man or woman is not made for the law, the law is made for man (with money). Just wait your turn, you might change lives by your transgressions.

I submit to you the lustful King Henry VIII. Henry is best known for his six marriages, and for his efforts to have his first marriage (to Catherine of Aragon) annulled. His disagreement with Pope Clement VII about such an annulment led Henry to initiate the English Reformation, separating the Church of England from papal authoritym. (Henry VIII. (2022, November 17). In Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henry_VIII) 

So you see ladies and gentlemen, you got a whole new religion because a King could not stop ‘falling in love’. Look at you, going to church every Sunday, thinking your religion is better than another person's, and basing your judgment of women on your strict Christian upbringing. All this courtesy of immorality. Fancy that! 

Now imagine if Henry was a Kenyan today. His wives would have been considered shameless golddiggers with no self-esteem. They would probably be trending because we are largely ignorant.

Do you get it now? You are going after the wrong group. Remember, you are not morally upright, you have no economic muscle.

And even though your transgressions cannot change the lives of the masses, in your circle of influence, you also have women you bend the rules for. Maybe they do not confess in public because it might be for wifi or breakfast. You do not judge them because both of you, grown adults of free will get what you want. Women have had sex with men for many reasons, a fridge full of food, security, a job, to save a nation, or for a holiday in Diani. Calm down, You only think you are better because the stakes are lower in your circle. You may be surprised that many of you are products of an ‘upgrade’.

Is it the right thing to do? I do not know. Is it wrong? Who got hurt? No one, well maybe the ones judging but as for her, she did not starve and the man probably got a few hours of peace and fun. I cannot judge. As long as it does not involve children or persons held against their will (In fact this is where we should always direct our anger and disdain), I want to believe that free adults have thought things through and we probably would not do better or worse put in the same situation.

Perhaps we should devote all of our energy to fighting one of the new ways to die in Kenya, GMOs, rather than those who have already found ways to live.

Watch my interview with Lynn Ngugi here…

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