Choose your poison or man....
Take ownership of your life
Hello good people,
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Someone Tweeted, and I paraphrase, “That we underestimate men’s ability to lie to women, so we cannot choose better partners because we would need private investigators to figure them out.
First of all, we give men too much credit. Contrary to popular belief, you are not that gullible. You have been. What you have a problem with is accepting reality.
Someone once said that we are often conned or scammed because we are greedy and dishonest. You get a text from a stranger claiming you have won Ksh 100,000 in the “just concluded cooking fat competition. Call this number to claim your prize.” You know you did not enter that or any competition. In fact, you do not even use cooking fat. You figure you can get the Ksh 100,000 for free.
You call the number, and they ask you to send a small amount of money to facilitate ‘the processing’ of your winnings. You know you did not win; sending them money to process winnings makes no sense. Where has it ever happened? But against your better judgement, you send.
Now all of a sudden, con artists are ruining people’s lives, and the government should do something. But, unfortunately, you refuse to take any ownership.
And so goes everything in life, including relationships. We always know, but we think we can trick ourselves into happily ever after. Maybe I can say this now because I have the experience of hindsight. I wish it were a lesson I did not have to learn the hard way, but it is what it is.
If you sit with yourself quietly, you will know whether the route you are taking is for you or not. In my book THINGS I WISH THEY TOLD ME; How To Enjoy A Relationship With An African Man, we agree in the first chapter to let go of fairy tales. So if a person repulses your body, do not put it down to butterflies and some sort of lovesickness. Your reactions may be mild like a queazy stomach or sudden but temporary blurry vision when you hear from him or see him to aggravated ones like increased heart rate, anxiety even short-term memory loss. You are not in love. You are in distress. Do not convince yourself otherwise.
Once you are done with fairytales, another chapter says, “Choose your poison, I mean man, carefully.” This is easier said than done. The mind is so powerful that you can refuse to see what is in front of you if you allow it to con you into situations you have no business being in. You will see an irresponsible man and excuse his actions, you will see a promiscuous man and blame yourself for not being enough, and you will see an abusive man and think all you have to do is try not to trigger him. But like the competition you did not enter but want free money from, you will convince yourself that once you are in, you will change everything; you will send the money to have your winnings processed. What is Ksh 5,000 against a Ksh 100,000 winning? It was just a shove, or the woman should have known he is in a relationship and better still, how do we know that woman’s child is his, really? What do you have to lose? Everything.
Go into a relationship, whatever kind, in control. In control of your feelings, in control of your mind and in control of the outcome. You are not the victim; you can actually choose better.
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P/S: What are you doing this Monday, 29th August 2022, between 4 -6 pm? Join us
